Review

Paradise Found, or Maybe Just Misplaced: A Journey Through Mysterious Hallmark Territories

Are you ready to see Tom Selleck bring the grizzle and growl to a place that isn't a Hallmark Christmas village? Welcome to "Jesse Stone: Lost in Paradise," where the only thing more mysterious than the plot is trying to figure out why there aren’t any mistletoes or candy canes in sight.

In this not-so-holiday Hallmark special, our favorite mustachioed detective, Jesse Stone, takes a break from solving crimes in picturesque New England to do, well, pretty much the same thing but with a bigger backdrop, a new zip code, and definitely fewer fairy lights. Hallmark movies are known for their heartwarming tales and inclement weather, but this one dives headfirst into mystery without a single snowflake. It’s like someone swapped out the snow globe and replaced it with a gritty detective hat.

Selleck is as stoic as ever, tackling the role with the intensity of a man who's misplaced his festive spirit, but managed to find a seemingly endless supply of strong black coffee and brooding intensity. Picture a detective film noir and a Hallmark movie getting lost on the way to a holiday party, and you'll get this riveting (and slightly disoriented) mix.

Wait, is that the same fireplace we see in all the Hallmark holiday movies? It seems to have left the coziness behind for a noir-ish showdown. What we lose in gingerbread cookies, we gain in moody exchanges and suspicious side-glances. Oh, to be a fly on the wall in the director's meeting where they decided not to hang a single wreath!

“Jesse Stone: Lost in Paradise” is like stepping into a Hallmark wonderland, only they've turned down the lights and asked everyone to look unnecessarily serious. Forget the cuddly romance; here, it’s more about finding your inner peace while dodging crime scene tape. Whether you're a die-hard fan of Tom Selleck's mustache or just curious how Hallmark deals with crime-solving minus the holiday cheer, this movie is a charmingly perplexing odyssey.

So, grab your magnifying glass and prepare to navigate the uncharted waters of "Jesse Stone: Lost in Paradise," where the only thing missing is Santa Claus turning up to give the detectives a much-needed vacation. It’s what happens when Hallmark movies decide to build a mystery, one oddly charming coffee mug at a time.