Review

Last Vermont Christmas: A Syrupy Sleigh Ride Through Predictable Cheer

Ah, the holiday season—a time for festive decorations, copious amounts of eggnog, and the annual binge of Hallmark movies with plots as predictable as finding glitter in a kindergarten craft room. If you love Hallmark holiday movies, then prepare yourself for a delightful rollercoaster uphill of emotions with the cinematic equivalent of wrapping yourself in a warm, albeit slightly itchy, Christmas sweater: Last Vermont Christmas.

Picture this: a picturesque Vermont town blanketed in snow, a delightful medley of pine scents wafting through the air, and more plaid than a lumberjack convention. This movie checks off every box on the Hallmark holiday movies checklist: a workaholic returning home for Christmas, family drama, and, of course, an old flame who looks uncannily like a handsome flannel catalog model.

Our protagonist, who clearly has missed a memo from the North Pole, arrives back in Vermont for her family's annual Christmas gathering. Cue the "we need to save the cherished family home" subplot, and you've got yourself the makings of classic Hallmark fare. It’s as if the folks at Hallmark photoshopped together the plot during a particularly festive lunch break.

The plot twists are as abundant as the mistletoe in this film—which is to say, about as scarce as snowstorms in the Sahara. The true crisis, however, comes when you realize you’ve eaten all the holiday cookies before the second act. Sadly, there are no surprising revelations or unexpected turns, unless you count the inevitable pre-final-scene snowfall which falls with laser-guided precision.

Despite this, Last Vermont Christmas is not without charm. The warmth of family gatherings and the message of togetherness does tug at the heartstrings—albeit rather predictably. It’s like receiving a gift-wrapped fruitcake; you know exactly what’s inside, but it’s the thought that counts. And it turns out the biggest plot trophy goes to Vermont, whose scenery was spectacular enough to have its own agent negotiating for more screen time.

Much like the other Hallmark holiday movies, you won’t find any Oscar-winning performances or groundbreaking narratives here. But if you're looking for a pleasant movie that feels like sipping hot cocoa under a cozy blanket, and leaves you with the same kind of sugary aftertaste, Last Vermont Christmas is a definite, if not obligatory, inclusion on your holiday movie list.

So curl up, grab that remote, and raise a glass of eggnog to predictability, because sometimes, that’s all part of the Christmas charm.