Review

Memories of Christmas: A Tinsel-Fueled Time Loop of Joy

Jingle All the Way Into Predictable Perfection

If you've ever wished for a movie that feels like slipping on your warmest holiday sweater and diving headfirst into a never-ending vat of eggnog, look no further than Memories of Christmas. It's a cinematic reminder that all roads lead to charming small towns where snow always falls in gentle flurries, and everyone is inexplicably good-looking.

As someone who's proudly watched enough Hallmark movies to be considered a veritable expert on this unique genre, I can confidently say that Memories of Christmas delivers exactly what we've come to expect. Our leading lady, a high-powered city dweller with a penchant for peppermint lattes, returns to her quaint hometown just in time for the annual Christmas festival. Cue a meet-cute with a ruggedly handsome local called something like Jack Frost or Noel Claus—who just happens to be in need of some holiday spirit.

The pair embark on a series of increasingly festive challenges, like baking contest disasters and a heartwarming tree-decorating montage scored by a variation of "Jingle Bells" that no one asked for but everyone needs. All this while learning, of course, that the true meaning of Christmas isn't buried under a pile of overpriced city gifts, but in the meticulously scheduled town caroling event that no one would ever miss for a corporate PowerPoint.

True to Hallmark holiday movies tradition, the film serves us a steady stream of twinkling lights, endless cookie platters, and enough romantic tension to make Rudolph's nose blush. It's delightfully cheesy and predictably syrupy—like a giant candy cane you didn't know you needed in your life until you took that first sugary bite.

Spoiler alert: the inevitable happens, and love triumphs over all—because what would a Hallmark holiday movie be if the protagonists didn't fall in love over a misunderstanding about mistletoe?

So, grab your nearest blanket, a mug of something hot, and prepare to bask in the blissful formulaic wonder that is Memories of Christmas. It’s a memory you’ll fondly replay every holiday season or until you run out of candy canes, whichever comes first.