Review

Portrait of Love: A Stroke of Hallmark Genius

If Mona Lisa Were a Hallmark Movie...

Have you ever sat through 'Portrait of Love' (2015)? Well, if you haven't, prepare yourself for a quintessential experience akin to sitting through a two-hour slideshow of family vacation photos—with your mother narrating every detail. Only this time, the vacation photos are beautifully composed stills of small-town America and your mother has been replaced with the soothing whispers of Hallmark's cinematic orchestra.

This Hallmark movie serves up the perfect canvas of small-town charm, the kind that instantly transports you into a world where everyone smiles a second too long, and no one has ever heard of sarcasm. It's a world where every character seemingly has a side gig as a professional matchmaker—because this is Hallmark, and romance is practically a legal requirement!

The film follows April, a big-city photographer blessed with Hallmark-level coincidence powers. She heads back to her picturesque hometown, and unsurprisingly, every single man she left behind has aged like fine wine and is eagerly waiting for her return. Cue the heaping spoonful of warm-fuzzy small-town nostalgia, a touchstone of all Hallmark movies.

But here's the twist—April’s thrown into a love triangle that rivals the drama of choosing between a peppermint mocha latte and an eggnog latte in a Hallmark holiday movie. This tension rivals any epic struggle, like when you can't decide whether to wear the cozy flannel or the festive Christmas sweater.

The script paints every plot twist as predictably as a number painting, while the dialogue is delightful in a way that will make you want to "aww" and roll your eyes simultaneously. For those of you who are hardcore aficionados of Hallmark holiday movies, you'll find 'Portrait of Love' provides just the right amount of seasonal cheer and comfort—minus the snow but with a side of tulip fields.

Ultimately, 'Portrait of Love' might not be the Louvre masterpiece that Hallmark connoisseurs sky-high on winter holidays are used to, but it’s a delightful doodle worth an evening of good cheer and chuckles. As our heroine discovers love in the brushstrokes of simplicity, you might find yourself compelled to whip out the watercolor set and paint your very own 'Portrait of Love': the portrait of a viewer deeply entangled in the sublime and often humorous web of Hallmark reality.