Review

"The Groomsmen: First Look" – A Wedding So Awkward, Even Hallmark Movies Would Say 'No Thanks'"

If you’ve ever wondered what would happen if you mashed together a bachelor party, a rom-com, and a midlife crisis, then The Groomsmen: First Look is here to answer that question with a resounding, “Why would anyone do this?” Released in 2024, this film is like a Hallmark movie on steroids, except instead of cozy small towns and hot cocoa, you get questionable life choices and a lot of spilled beer.

The plot revolves around five groomsmen who reunite for their friend’s wedding, only to realize they’ve all peaked in high school. There’s the overachiever who’s now a barista, the jock who’s now a yoga instructor (but still wears his letterman jacket), the nerd who’s now a failed tech entrepreneur, the ladies’ man who’s now just… sad, and the groom who’s clearly regretting his life choices. Together, they embark on a chaotic journey of self-discovery, bad decisions, and at least three scenes where someone cries in a bathroom stall.

The humor is hit-or-miss, like a groomsman trying to catch the bouquet at the rehearsal dinner. There’s a running gag about one of the guys accidentally RSVPing to the wrong wedding, which is funnier than it sounds but still not as funny as the writers thought it was. And let’s not forget the obligatory “emotional heart-to-heart” scene where they all sit around a campfire and confess their deepest fears, only to be interrupted by a raccoon stealing their s’mores. Classic.

What really sets this movie apart from Hallmark holiday movies is its complete lack of charm. While Hallmark movies have quaint towns and adorable meet-cutes, The Groomsmen: First Look has a strip club that doubles as a taxidermy shop and a meet-cute that involves someone getting hit in the face with a piñata. It’s like the filmmakers took every trope from a Hallmark movie and said, “What if we made this… worse?”

The performances are fine, I guess? The lead actor spends most of the movie looking like he’s trying to remember if he left the oven on, and the rest of the cast seems to be having more fun than the audience. There’s also a subplot about a rival groomsmen group that feels like it was added because someone said, “This movie needs more stakes,” but honestly, the stakes were already low enough.

In the end, The Groomsmen: First Look is a movie that tries to be heartfelt and hilarious but ends up being neither. It’s like a Hallmark movie that got lost on its way to the Christmas tree farm and ended up at a dive bar. If you’re looking for a feel-good wedding flick, stick to Hallmark holiday movies. If you’re looking for a trainwreck you can laugh at, well… this might be your jam. Just don’t say I didn’t warn you.

Rating: 2 out of 5 awkward slow dances.