Review

"The Heiress and the Handyman: A Love Story So Predictable, Even Your Grandma Called It"

If you’ve ever wondered what would happen if a billionaire heiress tripped over a rake and fell into the arms of a ruggedly handsome handyman, congratulations—you’ve just predicted the entire plot of The Heiress and the Handyman. This 2024 Hallmark movie is the cinematic equivalent of a warm blanket, a cup of hot cocoa, and your aunt’s annual reminder that you’re still single. It’s comfort food for the soul, but with more flannel and fewer calories.

The movie follows Claire (played by the perpetually glowing Emily Fairweather), a high-powered heiress who inexplicably decides to spend her Christmas vacation in a small town where the Wi-Fi is slower than her character arc. Enter Jake (played by Chad McChiseled), the town’s handyman who’s so good with his hands that he can fix a leaky faucet, a broken heart, and the entire town’s economy in under 90 minutes. Spoiler alert: sparks fly faster than a Hallmark holiday movie marathon on a snow day.

The plot is as predictable as the sunrise, but that’s the charm of Hallmark movies, isn’t it? You know Claire will learn the true meaning of Christmas, Jake will reveal a secret talent (spoiler: he’s also a painter), and the two will share a kiss under the mistletoe while a choir of children sings in the background. It’s like a holiday bingo card, and The Heiress and the Handyman checks every box with gusto.

The dialogue is cheesier than a fondue pot at a Hallmark holiday movie convention. At one point, Claire says, “I may have everything money can buy, but I’ve never felt so poor in spirit,” and I half-expected Jake to respond, “That’s because you’ve never had my homemade hot cider.” But hey, if you’re watching this movie for groundbreaking dialogue, you’re in the wrong genre. You’re here for the cozy sweaters, the snow-covered gazebos, and the inexplicable lack of cell service in a town that’s somehow only 30 minutes from the city.

In the end, The Heiress and the Handyman delivers exactly what it promises: a heartwarming, slightly ridiculous love story that will make you laugh, cry, and question why you’re not dating a handyman who can also paint landscapes. It’s the perfect movie to watch while wrapping presents, baking cookies, or explaining to your family why you’re still single. Because if Claire can find love in a small town with a guy who owns exactly one flannel shirt, there’s hope for us all.

Rating: 5 out of 5 mistletoe kisses. Would watch again while eating gingerbread and pretending I don’t know how it ends.