Review

"Tipline Mysteries: Dial 1 for Murder – A Cozy Crime Caper That’s One Call Away from Cliché"

If you’ve ever wondered what would happen if a Hallmark movie and a murder mystery had a baby, Tipline Mysteries: Dial 1 for Murder is here to answer that question. And by "answer," I mean it throws a cozy knit blanket over the crime genre, serves it a cup of hot cocoa, and whispers, “Don’t worry, no one’s actually going to die… probably.”

The plot revolves around Maggie, a small-town journalist who moonlights as a tipline operator for the local police. When a mysterious caller dials in to confess to a murder, Maggie (played by the ever-charming Hallmark queen, whose name I’ve forgotten because she’s in every Hallmark holiday movie) decides to solve the case herself. Why? Because apparently, small-town journalists have nothing better to do than play amateur detective while wearing perfectly coordinated scarves.

The movie is a delightful mix of suspense and predictability. You know, the kind where the killer is either the overly friendly neighbor or the guy who’s way too into birdwatching. Spoiler alert: It’s the birdwatcher. Of course it is. But hey, at least there’s a subplot about Maggie’s love life, because no Hallmark movie is complete without a love triangle involving a rugged handyman and a guy in a suit who probably owns a pumpkin farm.

The dialogue is peak Hallmark movies: “I just can’t believe someone in our town could do something like this!” Maggie gasps, while standing in front of a bakery that sells heart-shaped cookies. Meanwhile, the killer is probably lurking in the background, holding a knife and a coupon for 20% off at the local craft store.

What really sets this movie apart is its commitment to the Hallmark holiday movies aesthetic. Even though it’s not technically a Christmas movie, there’s enough twinkling lights, cozy sweaters, and inexplicable snow to make you wonder if the town is cursed with eternal winter. And let’s not forget the obligatory scene where Maggie bakes cookies while discussing the case with her sassy best friend, who runs the town’s antique shop. Because nothing says “murder investigation” like a plate of snickerdoodles.

In the end, Tipline Mysteries: Dial 1 for Murder is exactly what you’d expect: a lighthearted, low-stakes mystery that’s perfect for when you’re too tired to watch anything with actual suspense. It’s like a warm hug, except the hug might be from a murderer. But hey, at least the murderer knits their own scarves.

Rating: 3 out of 5 rotary phones. Would watch again, but only if I’m trapped under a blanket with a mug of peppermint tea.