Review

Movie Review: USS Christmas
Subtitle: “Anchors Aweigh, and Don’t Forget the Mistletoe!”

USS Christmas is Hallmark’s holiday romance on the high seas—or at least, the mildly choppy waters of nostalgia and second chances. It’s a delightful blend of military pride, family traditions, and enough Christmas cheer to make even the toughest sailor feel like decking the halls.

The story follows Maddie (Jen Lilley), a journalist who reluctantly joins her mom and sister on a Navy Christmas cruise. Yes, apparently, that’s a thing, and no, there’s no karaoke night where everyone sings Jingle Bell Rock in sailor hats (though it feels like a missed opportunity). Onboard, Maddie stumbles upon a decades-old love story hidden in an officer’s logbook, which leads her to investigate—and, naturally, to fall for the dashing naval officer Lt. Billy Jenkins (Trevor Donovan).

Jen Lilley’s Maddie is a classic Hallmark heroine: spunky, curious, and allergic to downtime. She’s the kind of journalist who sees a random old letter and decides, “This could be Pulitzer-worthy—or at least lead to some quality flirting.” Trevor Donovan’s Billy is the perfect Hallmark Navy man: rugged, disciplined, and surprisingly great at delivering heartfelt speeches about love and duty. Their chemistry is undeniable, even when they’re bonding over old photos and awkwardly navigating the ship’s oddly festive décor.

The central mystery—tracking down the owners of the love letters—gives the movie a fun twist, though let’s be honest: the audience is here for the romance, not the investigative journalism. The clues conveniently lead Maddie and Billy to spend more time together, including a snowball fight (where the snow is probably just really enthusiastic sea foam) and a heart-to-heart in front of a Christmas tree that somehow fits on a naval ship.

Highlights include:
- Maddie’s inexplicable ability to wear heels on a moving vessel without ever stumbling.
- Billy’s refusal to acknowledge how absurdly charming he is while delivering Christmas pep talks.
- A group of sailors who clearly have nothing better to do than hang lights and exchange sly winks every time Maddie and Billy are in the same room.

The movie’s setting—a decorated Navy ship—might make you question every other holiday movie’s lack of creativity. Forget the usual small-town inns and snowy cabins; this floating wonderland has wreaths on every bulkhead, twinkling lights in the mess hall, and a level of festive spirit that even the Grinch would salute.

The romance unfolds predictably but sweetly, with plenty of Hallmark-approved tropes: accidental hand touches, wistful glances over cocoa, and a big romantic gesture involving—what else?—a heartfelt toast in full Navy dress uniform. By the time the movie wraps up with a kiss under (probably military-grade) mistletoe, you’ll be grinning like a kid opening presents.

USS Christmas is a fun, heartwarming holiday movie that delivers romance, nostalgia, and just enough nautical flair to make you want to enlist in the Hallmark Navy. It’s perfect for anyone who loves charming love stories, patriotism wrapped in garland, and the idea that Christmas cheer really does float. Watch it with cocoa, a cozy blanket, and maybe a life vest—just in case. 🎄⚓❤️